Ted Cruz wants you to believe he's human, because he wants to be the next president.  What he's not telling you is he's a 400 year old vampire with a magic ring that prevents him from burning up in the sunlight.

He was a conquistador, one of Ponce de Leon's men, and was cursed with vampirism after pissing in the fountain of youth. You'll note that his top aides never expose their throats. His tell is he speaks Spanish with an antiquated accent.   He does not sparkle, that's a lie promoted by Stephenie Meyer fans.

It's been a good year for some Elder gods.   

Borrowed from Slackitivist.

It would seem a poor choice to call your project Skynet, unless you're deliberately being ironic.

I mean, why help speed up the coming apocalypse?   Skynet will not curry favors with any human, despite what those foolish astronomers think.

 

English/commonwealth:

Welsh rabbit

Sweetbread

Toad in the hole

Bangers and mash

Spotted dick

All American:

Rocky Mountain oysters

All over:

Black Pudding

Eating intelligent animals seems unncessarily cruel.  I'll pass on the calamari, thanks.